Demon Sex Education
by Flaming Duck
Summary: COMPLETE! NEW! CHP 4 - A-N! Everything you ever wanted to know about demon mating and marking will be explained by the ever knowing Sex Ed teacher, Rin. Inu and Co await the presentation anxiously while Sesshoumaru taps his long claws on his desk.
1. The Video

Disclaimer: This is in no way associated with anyone. This is merely a silly screwed up idea created to poke fun at the most used concepts of demon mating as commonly found in InuYasha fanfics. We are not specializing any story in particular, so if something sounds familiar, it is purely coincidental (except for my own, since I don't care if I make fun of my own stuff). Please don't take offense, it is meant to be amusing.

So, Neechan #2 here, for those who don't know, this is a collaboration name between myself (Sessysama) and my neechan (GhastlyMiroku), as such we are referred to as Neechan #1 and Neechan #2. This is just a little extra one shot as we prepare the next chp of our story, which we, of course, highly recommend everyone go read (shamelessly promoting). Inu is in the first chp, for those helplessly devote Inu fans. Hope you enjoy it!

Note: Video Script was written by Neechan #1

Today's After School Special

Demon Sex Education:

What You Need to Know When Courting or Being Courted by a Demon

Sesshoumaru dropped the small A/V worker in front of the faulty projector. He was already in a foul mood for getting forced to supervise over this damn after school lecture and he was doing his best to find someone to take it out on. The small toad he managed to find when looking for someone to fix the projector was just perfect for the job.

"Fix it already," Sesshoumaru commanded.

The toad fixed the back of his black shirt before swearing beneath his breath and examining the projector. Sesshoumaru was about to step on the pathetic demon when a light, cheerful voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Arigato, Jaken-san. I never can get that machine to work no matter how many times I use it."

Jaken looked back at the young human woman. "Yeah…whatever…didn't need to send dog boy out to play fetch to get me though…almost ruined my shirt…dry cleaning is fucking expensive…"

He continued his grumbling as he worked on fixing the machine before him. Sesshoumaru would have made sure his head was on the other side of the wall, and he very much thought the idea of the toad's little body squirming trying to free himself would be very amusing, but he was stopped from fulfilling his violent fantasy as two slender arms wrapped around his chest. He turned around and was brought face to face with his young mate, her brown eyes gentle and friendly, while her smile was so beautifully welcoming.

"Arigato, Sesshoumaru, I finished setting up here. Now we just wait for the students to arrive."

At the mention of the soon to arrive students Sesshoumaru rolled his golden eyes and brushed his mate aside. The woman just laughed at him.

"You know, Sesshoumaru, you can't complain about being here when you _volunteered_ to supervise this." He scowled and returned to his desk at the back of the room. "Oh, they can't be that bad. They are _your_ students."

"And you wonder why I don't want you alone with them while discussing nothing but sex." He leaned back in his red leather chair and closed his eyes. "Rin, sometimes you are truly naïve."

Suddenly, he felt her weight settle upon his thighs and her breath against his face. His golden gaze slowly opened to meet her seductive stare. "True, but you used to find that fact very amusing."

She leaned in and kissed him, her hands slipping over his broad shoulders to massage the back of his neck.

"Go Nii-san! Does this mean we get a demonstration along with the video?"

A loud growl formed in Sesshoumaru's throat as Rin left him allowing him complete view of the fourteen-year-old hanyou boy who had entered. Why was he cursed with such an idiot of a half-brother? For that matter why was he not just forced to take care of the bastard but also have him in _his_ class?

Rin approached the front of the room as the students filed in, but stopped at where InuYasha was standing. "Oh, InuYasha, I fixed your nightlight today, so can you refrain from coming into our room tonight." She smiled sweetly at the now scarlet-faced hanyou before resuming her track to the blackboard.

"Oh, dissed by your own sister in law. That's gotta suck." The only other hanyou in the room said.

"Oh, shut the fuck up Naraku, no one was talking to you."

"I can say whatever I want dog breath. Don't get all high and mighty just cause your brother's the teacher."

"Yeah, like I care about that. I can kick your ass anytime without anyone's help."

Sesshoumaru had enough of this. His fingers snapped towards the bickering hanyous sending his demonic whip to crack the ground between them. "Shut up, both of you. InuYasha, Miroku, Bankotsu, Jakotsu, you know the rules. Weapons go in the closet."

The four boys grudgingly head for the back closet to store their weapons. Bankotsu stood in front of the small storage area and slowly petted his large sword. "Don't worry Banryuu, I will get you back after this is over. I won't let them take you away again."

InuYasha's eyebrow twitched slightly as he stared at the human comforting his sword. "You're a sick bastard, you know that." When Bankotsu refused to either acknowledge InuYasha or let go of his sword the silver haired hanyou threw Tessaiga against Bankotsu's giant weapon forcing both swords into the closet. The enraged human boy stormed up to InuYasha as the others stowed away their weapons.

"Haven't I told you not to touch Banryuu!"

"Well if it didn't take you twenty minutes just to put it away I wouldn't need to. Why the hell do you have such a big sword anyway, compensating for something?"

Bankotsu just smirked. "At least mine doesn't shrink."

They were about to go into another fight when Rin stepped between them, which immediately drew Sesshoumaru's attention to a daily battle he normally ignored. She smiled at both of them, instantly shutting up InuYasha who didn't want her to say anything else embarrassing. Bankotsu also quieted though since his eyes were locked on an area lower than her head, Sesshoumaru doubted it was the smile that shut him up. Rin's low cut neckline was not helping the matter.

Rin placed her fingers at the edge of Bankotsu's chin and lifted his face so that he looked her in the eyes. "When I talk to you, your eyes should never stray that far south. You wouldn't want to upset your teacher anymore than you already have, now would you?"

The boy's eyes, which had still been trying to return to the ample vision inside of Rin's blouse, now turned to Sesshoumaru, who upper lip was already raised showing off a perfectly deadly pair of fangs. Sesshoumaru wasn't the one to punish the human though, as InuYasha landed a solid punch on Bankotsu's right cheek.

"Bastard, don't try to check out my sister!" He turned to Miroku whose eyes were already wandering the curves of the young Sex Ed teacher. "That goes for you too houshi!"

Miroku lifted his hands in defense and smiled stupidly. "I wasn't looking at Rin-sensei, I was checking out Sango-chan."

The thirteen-year-old tayjia's face reddened, only to be followed by Miroku's as a bright hand imprint formed on his cheek.

Sesshoumaru rubbed the spot just above his nose as he listened to the insufferable whining of his students. Just because he was the only full demon on staff _he_ had to be stuck with the hanyous, demons, mikos, houshis, tayjias, and psyocotic brats. Why couldn't they just sacrifice a few teachers and let him have a normal human class that would easily be terrified into submission?

"Everyone shut up and sit down," Sesshoumaru called out.

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sensei," a number of people responded, though most just tried to grab their seats.

InuYasha sat in the front, as close to Rin, and as far from Sesshoumaru, as he could get. In normal mischievous fashion Bankotsu and Jakotsu sat in the two adjacent seats as Naraku hurried to talk to Kikyou and Kouga who were already grumbling about the seats they were forced into.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" InuYasha growled.

Jakotsu leaned in close to InuYasha's canine ears and blew. "You know I just love being near you, my little puppy lover. You really are too shy when we are in public."

InuYasha tried to punch him but Jakotsu was too fast, not only dodging but he also slipped his arm around InuYasha's neck and nuzzled his silver hair.

"Come on, you know you enjoyed yourself last night. Just the two of us, alone at my house…"

"I have never been alone with you anywhere!" InuYasha screamed.

"Of course not, my InuYasha has only ever been with me."

One rattled InuYasha turned to where Bankotsu was supposed to be sitting to find Kikyou smiling back at him. "I have never been alone with you either!"

Kikyou took his arm and pulled him towards her. InuYasha began to freak out but Jakotsu let go. He finished freaking when he saw a smirking Kouga now sitting in his place, Kagome was glaring at InuYasha from the other side. Why did this always happen to him!

Behind them a series of yelping and smacking could be heard as Miroku had taken the seat behind Sango. Ayame sat behind Kagome, electric sparks showering her head. The rest of the class settled down in a decent fashion. From his place at the back of the room Sesshoumaru picked up his attendance roster and began calling off names.

"Ayame."

"Here."

"Bankotsu."

"Yo!"

"InuYasha."

"Right here, Fluffy-sensei!"

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. "Jakotsu."

"Present, Sesshoumaru-sensei."

A cold chill ran at Sesshoumaru's spine at the tone the young boy had used. "Kagome."

"Here."

"Kikyou."

No response.

"Kikyou."

Still no response.

"Kikyou," he growled.

"Damn it, bitch! He is calling you!" InuYasha cried as he continued to attempt to dislodge the fourteen-year-old from his arm.

She looked up oblivious to her surrounding. "He is? Here."

Sesshoumaru continued on. "Kouga."

"Yo, Sesshoumaru-sensei."

"Miroku."

There was a pause, followed by the sound of flesh meeting flesh. "Oww!"

"Naraku."

"Here."

"Sango."

"I said stop that!"

"Shippo."

"Here."

"Souten."

"Here."

Sesshoumaru sighed and put down the roster before standing and approaching the students. Along the way to the front he grabbed Souten and Miroku by the collars. He dropped Miroku in the chair beside Sango, so he could no longer just reach forward. With his now free hand he lifted Kikyou from her seat and dropped Souten into it. He switched Kikyou with Naraku before taking the disgruntled hanyou to sit where Kagome had been. Kagome was taken back to Souten's previous seat next to Shippo. Lastly he grabbed both Bankotsu and Jakotsu and placed them in the seats directly in front of his desk so they would be within striking distance.

With the seating arranged for minimum disturbance Sesshoumaru returned to the front of the class. He glared at all the students. How he hated junior high students. Why did he ever choose _junior high_? Little children he could scare, high school students didn't give a shit, but junior high made them arrogant, self righteous, and pure pains in the ass.

"You will not speak unless spoken to. If you wish to be spoken to you _will_ raise your hand. You will do what Rin tells you to without question. If you question her it is the same as questioning me and you all know the punishment for questioning me." His eyes passed over each student. "You will not approach Rin unless she tell you to do so. For that matter you will not leave these seats for any reason other than a direct order by either Rin or myself. Is this understood?"

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sensei," the class replied in unison.

"Keep a tight lease on your students, I see," Rin said as she worked to stifle her laughter. "Is that really necessary?"

Sesshoumaru just glared at her before heading back to his desk.

"Looks like we're not the only ones on a tight leash," Bankotsu smirked to Jakotsu as Sesshoumaru passed by.

Somehow Bankotsu's chair disappeared from beneath him, sending the boy slamming to the ground as the chair reappeared in Sesshoumaru's hand. Sesshoumaru had nothing to do with that of course, things like that just happen in his class. No one has yet to figure out how though. He returned Bankotsu's seat and leaned back in his leather chair as Rin began to speak.

"Well, you all got stuck staying after school, and that probably sucks in your opinion." There were a number of whispered agreements to that statement. "But you _are_ here for a reason. Today's after school special is…" Rin pulled on the screen covering the blackboard so it retracted up. "Demon Sex Education."

The whispering and giggling ensued as expected. Sesshoumaru slammed his hand flat against the desktop and silenced the room.

Rin continued, "Now I know you all have already received Sex Ed; however, demon mating practices can be very different from human sexual activities. Therefore each class must not only go through Sex Ed, you get to suffer through Demon Sex Ed as well."

Kagome's hand shot into the air and Rin quickly acknowledged her. "Do demon mating practices apply to hanyous as well?" The girl's face tinged scarlet as she spoke.

Rin just smiled, being the Sex Ed teacher meant she was used to these kinds of question. She wasn't the only Sex Ed teacher in the district, but since she was the only one mated to a demon, she always got stuck doing the Demon Sex Ed classes.

"Demon practices often apply to hanyous, though often it depends on the hanyou in question, as well as how they are raised. Hanyous raised closer to their human side may forgo some of the demon ways, though not all. The video will explain many things. After the video, and yes, you may make fun of it, it is from the 60's, we will have a way for you to ask questions you may have without anyone knowing you ask it. No embarrassment so you can ask anything you like. Everyone ready to watch the video?"

Several students groaned but most just slumped back into their chair. They _had_ to watch it no matter what. Rin signaled Jaken to begin the projector and the room immediately erupted in laughter as an old woman appeared on screen. She wore a bright red and green muumuu and on top of her head was a neon colored feathered hat that actually went off the screen because of its size. Sesshoumaru once again commanded and received silenced.

The woman in the film began. "Within the next hour we will take you on an informative journey, exploring the facets of demon physiology and sexual tendencies."

A life-size model of a nude male demon appeared behind the narrator. "Now, when examining this model we see how a male demon differs in comparison to a human male. Pay close attention to the male sexual organ." The narrator produced a ruler from the sleeve of her muumuu. "When erect, the length and width is greatly more than the average human male."

There were a number of nervous glances around the room, most coming from Miroku who was continually looking over at InuYasha, Naraku, Shippo, and Kouga. The young houshi shrunk down in his chair, while the two full demons had broad smirk on their faces.

"This fact also is true for most hanyous."

Two sighs of relief were heard from the front of the room. On the screen the model disappeared and was replaced by a nude female model. The ruler once again played its part in the narration. Sango did not see what exactly was happening on the film as she was desperately attempting to cover Miroku's eyes, which were on the verge of dislodging from their sockets.

"Now, as for the female, you can see the breasts are larger as to provide more milk for any child they may have. Demon infants require more sustenance than human infants, and thus the demon female's breast can swell greatly after childbirth. On average they become two to three times larger than an average human woman."

Kagome and Kikyou both hunched in their seats. Sango would have if she wasn't preoccupied. Ayame and Souten were quite pleased though, and Ayame even folded her arms in front of her stomach and brought them just beneath her chest, which was far more developed than any of the human girls'.

"Now that we have seen the physiology of the demon, let us examine the different mating and marking practices." The narrator and model disappeared to show a demon man with long black hair held in a tight braid sitting next to a demon woman of the feline persuasion. Shippo looked at the image very carefully, then up to Souten.

"Hey, isn't that…" Souten struggled to stop the kitsune but it was too late. "…your brother."

The class once again burst into chaos as they each decided on the best way to use the new information. Sesshoumaru quickly worked to regain control of his class. In the back the film continued playing.

"This is Hiten. He is a thunder demon, and next to him is Kouryuu. She is a cat demon. Now Hiten, after taking Kouryuu on a nice relaxing tour of his land and getting to know all about her ways and sexual preferences, decides to mate with Kouryuu. However, since Hiten is an elemental demon and Kouryuu is a bestial demon there are a number of issue that arise. The two go off to the hot springs to discuss these."

The scene changed again to show a less than attractive, and slightly balding, demon sitting next to a disgruntled looking female demon. Souten slid until her head was no longer visible over the back of the chair. "While Hiten and Kouryuu contemplate this troubling issue let's visit another couple. This is Manten. He is Hiten's younger brother, and to his right is Yue, a rather temperamental fire demon. Manten has already reached the conclusion that he will mate with his date. She has other plans though and attempts to high-tail it out of there. Manten is too quick in his actions and strikes Yue in the back with his lightning, thus making her his mate."

"With looks like that, it's a wonder she even went out with him," Bankotsu whispered to Jakotsu.

"Oh, shut up Bankotsu! That's my brother."

Bankotsu leaned close to Jakotsu. "Just saying…probably the only way he could get some is to trick someone like that."

The back legs of Bankotsu's chair suddenly broke sending him falling backwards. He hurried to get up and retrieve another chair. Those mysterious things often happened to Bankotsu when he sat in the back.

"Unfortunately, since Yue left her guard down, she is privy to the demands of her new mate. Manten, pleased at his accomplishment, has Yue first wash and clean his gorgeous locks. It is customary for the woman to do such trivial things. Manten is thoroughly enamored with his hair, hence, leaving an opening for negotiations on the dominance of the two. Yue is in a position of great power as she cuts his hair off with her long claws, leaving the demon to weep for his fallen tresses."

A large amount of snickering was heard throughout the room.

"By making her presence known and taking the dominant position of the two Manten lives the rest of his days obeying her every command."

Souten head falls against the desk and a soft, "Why me," can be heard by the demons in the room.

The scene changes once again as the story returns to the first couple. "Let's check back with Hiten and Kouryuu. It seems Hiten is now sporting a rather permanent tattoo on his neck. Back at the hot spring, while conversing about the prospects of mating, Hiten became engrossed in the Kouryuu's scent. Kouryuu was obviously interested in more than talking with the thunder demon."

Souten's head banged against the desktop repetitively.

"Kouryuu, overwhelmed with her lust, took Hiten into her arms, and in the throws of passionate love, marked him as her mate, biting deeply into his neck."

Everyone in the class, save Souten who was trying desperately to knock herself out, looked at the bite mark on Rin's neck, which was clearly showing as a result of her shirt's low neckline. Their heads then turn to the back of the room where Sesshoumaru sat. Finding no answer to their curiosity they turned to InuYasha. The young hanyou's golden gaze moved nervously from Rin to Sesshoumaru. Finally he spoke up.

"I can neither confirm nor deny any idea you may have regarding my brother and his mate."

Disappointed, the class returns to watching the film. "Though, the markings of such demons do not have to be on the neck, many choose to place their mark in this spot, due to availability and proximity during intercourse."

Hoping to lighten the mood, InuYasha turned back to Sesshoumaru. "Sessy, you were just so original."

Most of the class fell into fits of laughter, while some were a little too scared of Sesshoumaru to react.

"The roles are switched in Hiten's situation. He was originally marked by the female causing her to have the ultimate control. If he so desired, he could challenge her but for now, Hiten is downtrodden with the fact he has to stay with one demon for the rest of his life."

A now slightly bloodied Souten stared at the screen in a confused daze. "Why did it have to be _this_ film?"

"You may ask, 'Why for the rest of his life?' For the majority of the different kinds of demons, mating is considered a ritual for life. There are exceptions though, among those are Slug demons, Toad demons and the Cannibalistic Horse demons of the Northern Mountains.

'When marking a mate, they are embarking on a new life full of love and affection. When the second of the two consensual partners marks the other as well, it is considered the highest of all bonds: the bond of friendship."

A few of the girls sighed and stared at the demons in the room, most of who were all making gagging motions over the edge of their desks.

"If, for any reason, a person is marked without consent, the marking can only be voided through the death of the other partner.

'Though, marking can occur through fault or impulse, it is important to reflect on your choices and take on your new life with a fresh view. Hiten as come to this conclusion. After marking Kouryuu back, therefore creating a semblance of a balance of power, they lived happily and have many little thundercats."

Souten's head twitched one last time before she passed out completely. Shippo hurried over to her and tried his best to rouse the distressed demon.

"So remember, when in the company of a demon of the opposite sex, it is important to be mindful of every action, as well as what type of demon they are. Hiten and Manten were elemental demons, therefore the mating/marking ritual is different and consists of the use of their element to scorch their mark into the others' skin. But since Kouryuu was a bestial demon she marked in the more animalistic way of piercing the skin of her partner."

Shippo finally managed to wake Souten and, with a nod from Sesshoumaru, Kagome switched places with her so Shippo could continue to watch over her. This earned a growl from Kikyou and Kouga since InuYasha and Kagome now sat next to each other.

"When confronted with the issue of hanyou mating, the ritual has only a few differences in the repercussions. Of course, if you are marked by a hanyou on their 'predetermined' time of the month, it is not considered a true mark.

'Hanyous also have a predisposition to submit to their desires less than a full demon and tend to repress their sexual urges. Due to the lack of activity it is highly likely a hanyou will one-day snap and mark the first creature it comes upon."

This statement caused a number of reactions from the class. All the girls scooted as far from Naraku as they could. All the boys moved away from both hanyous. Kagome and Kikyou tried their best to push their desks closer to InuYasha, and Jakotsu failed to change seats with an eager Kouga (who sat between both hanyous) only because of Sesshoumaru's insistence he remain within his reach.

"If the hanyou chooses to mate with a human female there is a possibility that she will, in turn, become a hanyou herself, due to the flow of hanyou saliva in her veins."

The narrator reappeared in all her flamboyant artistry and smiled at the audience. "Thank you for joining us on our journey of the Demon Bond of Love. We hope this has helped you to better understand the ways of demon mating."

Jaken turned off the projector and all attention returned to Rin. "Now as I said we will have discussion and you will be able to write any questions you have down and I will answer them without revealing who wrote what questions. However, are there any questions that you don't mind asking aloud?"

Hands shot into the air all over the room and Rin couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright, let's start with…"

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Part one of two! Yes, it was supposed to be a one shot but it got long, so it is a two parter. Part Two will be up shortly. Much in store for this class. Tell us what you think! We love reviews!

::Bankotsu enters and looks at Neechan #2:: "Did I really act like that when I was 14?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yep, I was there, I know."

"Wow." ::Jakotsu enters:: "Hey, Jakotsu, did you realize I acted like that when I was 14?"

"Bankotsu, you act like that now."

"Oh, yeah."


	2. Confusion Abounds

::Neechan #1 locks Necchan #2 into small closet::

"Now you are going to stay in there as punishment for misspelling my precious Bankotsu's name. Not just once, but through the whole story!"

Neechan #2 whimpers. "But I wrote it three in the morning, my hands and brain don't always agree on things that late…or early…whatever."

"That doesn't matter, you must be punished."

"But **_you_** didn't catch it either! You were supposed to be my editor too!"

"Excuses, excuses. Now be a good girl and write the next installment while you sit there and suffer for your mistake."

Neechan #2 sticks her tongue out but concedes. "Yeah, yeah. _Your_ Bankotsu, keh! Not like we own them or anything."

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Rin's eyes passed over the numerous hands raised in the air, quite a few shaking in anticipation of being answered. Still not completely sure of who would have the safest question to begin with, she picked one she hoped wouldn't send the class into an uproar.

"Kagome."

The young girl looked straight faced and composed. "They say that if a youkai is…in heat, that the males will come and just take a girl with or without her consent. Is that true?"

Rin laughed to herself. "I suppose you would be referring to the 'Hot Springs' urban legend."

The class whispered among themselves though no one answered her.

"The latest version of it I have heard is a teenage human girl, perhaps 15-18 years old, was wandering through the woods late at night. Mind you, no one knows why in the world she was in the woods in the middle of the night, but that's not the point. Anyway, this girl stumbles upon the most beautiful natural hot spring she has ever seen in her life. Being late at night it is obviously cold so she decides to take a dip to warm herself.

'Since she is in the middle of the woods late at night she expects no one else to be nearby and is completely oblivious to her surroundings. Then, without warning, two strong hands grab her and in some fashion, depending on the version of the story, a youkai rapes and marks her; all done because the youkai was in such a state of heat that he couldn't think of anything but finding and taking a female. Now the girl ends up not caring about any of this as the experience was so incredibly pleasurable. She immediately accepts him and they proceed to mate throughout the night. Would that be the story you heard?"

Kagome fidgeted in her seat. "Something close to that."

"Well, allow me to say that is, for the most part, an urban legend. First, look at the setting. A human teenage girl is in the woods late at night and stumbles upon a natural hot spring. Tell me, when was the last time any of you were in the woods and magically found a hot spring? And then of course there is the mysterious youkai in heat who created such an unbelievable sexual experience that the girl doesn't care that she has been raped. Where did he come from? Why was _he_ in the woods late at night? If he was _that_ in need I'm sure he could have found a woman quite eager to satisfy him for a price."

Several of the girls blushed at Rin's bluntness.

She continued. "In truth, that legend came about from centuries ago when it very well was possible for a person to just find a hot spring and bathe. During that point in history youkai were…less than welcome in human villages and it was possible for a youkai to just come and take a girl. This, however, also required a few things.

'One. Not only must the youkai be in heat, but the female would have to be as well. Youkai can sense female arousal and a male in heat will search for such a female as his instincts know she is ready to mate. So, if you are alone, at night, bathing in an unknown hot spring, make sure you are not in heat or aroused."

Kagome's face won first place as she was flushed a deep scarlet. Kikyou was in second place thanks to a mild crimson blush, and Sango was tied with Souten for third with slight reddening of their faces. Ayame was the only girl unaffected, or rather she was diligently taking notes as her eyes passed from their strong attention to Rin to a desired gaze at Kouga.

"Second condition is that there are no aroused female youkai nearby. A youkai overcome by sexual desire will naturally prefer to mate with another youkai." Ayame's eyes lit brighter than ever. "This is a result of their instinct to create strong offspring. If there are any female youkai nearby in a state of arousal or in heat the youkai will seek that female out over a human."

Kouga began moving his desk forward, away from the second row where Ayame sat in quiet, but malevolent, fits of laughter. A small drawing of a hot spring and two stick figures in an obviously very indecent position was resting on her desktop.

"The third condition," Rin said unaffected by any of the students, "is that the youkai male does not already have a mate."

Kouga and Ayame both perked up at this. He still had a chance at freedom.

"If the male youkai has already taken a mate then his desire will be placed solely onto her. His lusted mind will search her out no matter how far away she is and if you are that mate and you see him coming you may want to run to a private place as he will not care where you are once he does find you."

InuYasha shuddered at her last statement and covered his eyes. Worried, Kagome leaned in next to him.

"InuYasha, are you alright?" she whispered.

He just shook his head. "Bad memories."

Kagome quickly reclaimed her scarlet title, and after a hesitant glance at Rin decided it was best just to look at her desk.

"Now, who else has a question they don't mind asking aloud?" Rin asked cheerfully.

Kouga's hand shot into the air with unparalleled speed.

"Kouga, correct?"

"Yeah. Now, that video talked about youkai mating youkai and hanyous mating youkai or humans, but what about a youkai who wants to mate and mark a human?"

Rin sighed and titled her head to the side. "Yes, the video is lacking on that department. When it was made human/youkai couples were still considered taboo."

"But you can tell us, can't you?" Kouga asked enthusiastically.

Several of the students nodded.

"Yeah, what's it like to be mated to sensei?" Bankotsu asked from the back.

Sesshoumaru eyed the young boy carefully. Anything Bankotsu said was bound to lead to trouble, or worse, Rin will force him to get involved in her little lecture. Rin just laughed as they continued to bombard her with questions.

"Isn't it true that mating with a youkai is far, far more pleasurable than anything a hanyou or human can provide?" Kouga asked, adding a wink to Kagome and earning a growl from InuYasha.

Rin held her hands up to silence them. "Is it true youkai are more pleasurable while mating? That is debatable. As I have never experienced a human or hanyou I cannot answer that question. From what is known, a male youkai can provide extreme pleasure for his female partner; however, he can also provide the most unsatisfying experience. The same is true for hanyous."

All males attention was now completely focused on Rin. Miroku had a glimmer of hope filling his shadowed eyes.

"How can they be unsatisfying?" Bankotsu asked cheerily from the back.

Again, Sesshoumaru watched the human. He was up to something.

"Their size can cause severe pain for a human female if not properly mated."

"Properly mated?" a hesitant Kagome asked.

Rin nodded. "Some male youkai become too excited before they begin mating. If that should happen in order to relieve himself he may force himself into his partner before she is fully prepared. As such, the larger size of the males can be extremely painful to the female and she will experience no pleasure from their encounter."

Several girls crossed their legs and fidgeted in their seats as they thought of this prospect.

"Next question."

"Yo, Rin-sensei!" Bankotsu called from the back.

Now what was the boy planning? Sesshoumaru prepared himself for what would either cause a fight or insane shrieks from the girls. He silently prayed for the fight, then he could intervene in a less than delicate manner.

"Ah, the ever infamous Bankotsu. What is your question?"

Bankotsu smirked. "Is it true that when a dog youkai fucks he calls the woman 'bitch?'"

One of the classrooms mysterious accidents was about to happen to the foolish boy but Rin responded before it could. She leaned forward and sent him a sadistic smile.

"I assure you, once mating, neither partner thinks about saying anything."

The class burst into fits of giggling and hushed whispers. Sesshoumaru rubbed the spot between his eyebrows again. Why was she encouraging them? InuYasha appeared in a similar state as the giggling was coming primarily from Kagome and Sango who were glancing at each other.

"Next?" Rin asked with her uncompromising cheerfulness.

Everyone quieted as Naraku raised his hand. Rin looked at him a moment in thought.

"I'm afraid I don't remember you name."

"Naraku, Rin-sensei," he said ever so politely.

"Alright, Naraku. What is your question?"

"Would absorbing a woman be considered mating or does it have to be intercourse?"

Everyone stared at the hanyou in a mixture of shock and disgust, that is, everyone but Rin. She laughed to herself.

"Would it surprise you to know you aren't the first person to ask me that question?"

All the remaining students shuddered simultaneously.

"As to the answer, no. Among the youkai community mating requires an interaction between both parties that could, in the end, produce some kind of offspring provided one is not sterile. Absorbing, while it does involve an interaction between two people does not produce offspring, therefore, it is not considered mating."

Naraku slumped down rather depressed. From the back laughter could be heard.

"Cheer up, Naraku. It isn't like this makes you a virgin or anything," Bankotsu yelled.

Naraku's head slowly creaked back till he was looking at the two humans. "What are you talking about?"

Bankotsu and Jakotsu glanced at each other then turned back to Naraku. Bankotsu smiled mischievously. "Remember the party you threw after you brought us back to life and everything. Didn't you wonder why I wasn't drinking while everyone else was getting smashed? Jakotsu can hold his liquor like no one else. I never get drunk around him cause you never know what might happen when he's the only sober one."

For the first time ever Naraku looked disgusted. "You can't be serious."

"Well, for those who may not believe there are some rather disturbing pictures in my possession. A blackmailer's fantasy actually. I suppose for a price I might be able to part with them."

Naraku's face twisted in muted shock as the boys in the room were pooling their money. The girls seemed to follow Naraku's example and were either too shocked or too disgusted to speak.

"Yo, how much?" Kouga asked as he hurriedly gave Miroku all the money in his pockets.

Bankotsu smiled again. "How much you got?"

"You bastards!" Naraku yelled. "I brought you back to life and this is what you do!"

"Hey, I can give you three reasons why I don't care. One…" Bankotsu stopped and sat thinking.

"We're mercenaries," Jakotsu whispered.

"We're mercenaries!" Bankotsu repeated enthusiastically. "Two…"

"We're psychotic."

"We're psychotic mercenaries! And three…"

Silence. Bankotsu looked over at a dumbfounded Jakotsu who just shrugged. "We're dead?"

"We're dead psychotic mercenaries!"

Naraku was once again speechless.

"Hey, we got $57!" InuYasha called back.

"Make that $77," Kouga corrected as he hurriedly took Ayame's money on the condition he go on a date with her.

Bankotsu leaned back in his chair. "Come now, what do you think I am selling here. This is high class blackmailing material. It doesn't come cheap."

Sesshoumaru had enough of this nonsense. While it had been amusing to see Naraku disgusted for once he _was_ supposed to be the teacher here.

Both Bankotsu and Jakotsu found themselves flat on their backs as the legs of their chairs suddenly disappeared. With both boys looking up Sesshoumaru leaned over his desk and stared at them.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Bankotsu smiled up at him nervously, while all the boys began returning to money to each other. "We were…well…that is…"

"We were selling marijuana!" Jakotsu said smugly as if that were the best idea ever.

Bankotsu just stared at him, a single eyebrow twitching. "That's illegal, you idiot."

"Oh…sorry. Didn't mean to say that. What I meant to say was…"

Bankotsu covered Jakotsu's mouth to silence him. "Just let it go, he heard the whole thing."

Sesshoumaru returned to his more reclined position in his leather chair. "Pay attention or I break Banryuu."

Bankotsu stood immediately, grabbing Jakotsu by the hair and yanked him up. They both obtained new chairs, again in Bankotsu's case, and returned their attention to Rin.

At the front of the room Rin was struggling to suppress her laughter. "Next question?"

Ayame's hand was the first up. Still not fully composed from her amusement Rin just nodded to her.

"Isn't it true that if a youkai promises to marry another youkai he _has_ to go through with it?" Her glare was fixed on Kouga as she said, '_has_.'

Kouga's brown eye sparkled as Rin spoke. "Actually, no, he doesn't."

"What?!" Ayame screamed half-jumping out of her seat. "Yes he does!"

"Only if there was a blood exchange at the time of the promise," Rin corrected.

Ayame stared dumbfounded. "Blood exchange?"

Rin nodded. "A betrothal contract must be signed with an exchange of blood between the two in question."

"Does it have to be a consensual blood exchange, or can I just beat him to a pulp and then exchange blood while forcing him to repeat his promise?"

With no where else to go Kouga inched his desk closer to InuYasha as Ayame's mixed look of hunger and anger was beginning to scare him. InuYasha not wanting to be that close to Kouga scooted his desk closer to Kagome who in turn moved closer to InuYasha without anyone realizing.

Rin shook her head. "I'm sorry Ayame, for the contract to be legitimate it must be a consensual exchange."

"Fuck it all!" the young wolf yelled before plopping back into her chair and sulking.

Kouga let out a sigh of relief and began returning his desk to its proper place but stopped when he noticed how close InuYasha and Kagome were sitting. Hoping to keep the dog hanyou in line Kouga moved closer so he could be in striking distance should InuYasha try anything.

"Well, anymore questions you would like to…"

Rin was interrupted by the classroom door opening and a fifteen-year-old human boy walking in. He carried two large bags, one pick and one blue, as well as what appeared to be a reel for the projector.

"Houjou-kun?" Kagome whispered more to herself than anyone else.

"Higurashi-san, good to see you again," he said smiling.

The room suddenly shook from the vibrations of two very strong growls directed at the young boy. Kouga and InuYasha were both leaning forwards over their desk fangs bared and eyes burning at Houjou. He quickly made his way over to Rin and handed her the items.

"Here is everything you asked for Rin-sensei."

"Thank you. Could you take the other reel back to my office for me?" she said motioning for Jaken to give Houjou the 'Youkai Bond of Love' reel.

"Of course, Rin-sensei. Is there anything else you need before I go home for the day?"

"No, just lock up my office for me and that's all," Rin said without looking up from her examination of the bag's contents.

Houjou was about to leave when Kagome stopped him. "Houjou-kun, why are you still at school?"

Sesshoumaru was sure his desk was shaking now as the growling increased dramatically.

Houjou sent a weary glance over to the two angry youkai before answering. "I am the president of the Health Club, so I help Rin-sensei when she does her after school lectures."

"I see," Kagome stuttered. She was having trouble speaking fluidly as her desk was shaking violently.

Houjou brought up his courage and leaned in close to Kagome's ear. "You may want to seriously think about buying more of the sample you get today."

Kagome looked at him confused but he didn't elaborate. Houjou waved good-bye as he hurried out of the room, allowing the students to recover from the unexpected youkai outburst. Kagome took a deep breath and closed her eyes only to find a small pink bag with a bright neon yellow bow on her desk when she opened them again. She looked back to Sango and saw Rin giving her the same kind of package. Kikyou also received one, while Miroku, Bankotsu, and Jakotsu received similar blue bags with neon green bows.

Ayame, still highly cross from her earlier question, stared at the bag on Kagome's desk. "Rin-sensei, how come none of the youkai get one of them?"

Rin snickered to herself. "You won't want what they just received."

"A perfume bottle?" Sango asked as she stared at what she had removed from the bag.

It was a small, round glass container with a spritzer top and a fluffy pink puff attached to the top. Inside was a dull yellow liquid. The boys had the same type of bottle only with a fluffy black puff on theirs. Sango gave the puff a slight squeeze and watched as the yellow liquid was sprayed over her desk and arm.

"What is this stuff," Kikyou asked as she too sprayed the bottle in an attempt to figure out what it smelled like.

"Who cares what it is," Bankotsu yelled from the back. "Why the hell do we have a puff ball on ours!"

"I don't know," Jakotsu said happily. "I think it looks cute."

"_What_ you hold in you hand," Rin interrupted, "is high powered youkai repellant."

"So that's what Houjou meant," Kagome said to herself.

Rin continued. "If you are ever worried about enticing a youkai or hanyou because of an unexpected arousal or you happen to be in heat you wear this. It is extremely potent though, so no more than one spray should be used in a twenty-four hour period."

"But Sango and Kikyou both sprayed it and I don't smell anything," InuYasha commented.

"It only goes into effect if it comes into contact with certain chemicals in the human body." Everyone was getting pretty confused by this point. "In other words, they did not spray in the correct place. The will need to aim a lot lower for it to react."

Kagome did not just lose her title she was thoroughly catapulted from the winners circle as Sango, who still could feel the odd liquid on her arm, ran over red, surpassed scarlet, crushed crimson, and succeeding in producing a bright purple color on her cheeks.

"Well, I don't need this shit," Bankotsu said crudely.

Beside him Jakotsu sighed. "I don't either. I am trying _to_ entice a hanyou, not send him away."

Both InuYasha and Naraku shuddered at Jakotsu's statement, each silently praying he was referring to the other. Miroku pushed his still unopened bag back to the edge of his desk.

"Why should I want to refuse any woman who wants to be with me?"

Sango's flushed face whipped over to glare at the young houshi. Her normally brown eyes seemed to burn with the brightest rage. Miroku quickly ran to the back and grabbed both Bankotsu and Jakotsu's bottle before returning to his desk.

"I meant to say I will be needing much more than just one bottle as I would never want to attract the attention of any other girl." He laughed nervously as Sango's gaze slowly left him. He sighed. "I hate my life."

Everyone was started by the sudden addition of a raspy voice.

"Rin-sensei, it's ready," Jaken said from his place at the projector. Most of the students had forgotten he was still in the room.

"We have another video!" Souten cried out terrified.

Rin just smiled at her. "I guarantee there will be no members of your family in this one."

"Thank god," she said relieved, resting her head against Shippo's shoulder. The kitsune's eyes widened but he didn't try to move her.

"Jaken-san, if you would start the film."

The antique projector once again spun, creating an eerie whistling noise. On the screen four words that made all eyes stare in shock appeared in large black letters.

****

The Miracle of Birth

A middle aged man with smoothed black hair pulled into a small ponytail stood in front of two double doors. Above the doors were the words '**Maternity Ward**.'

"Hello. My name is Suikotsu and I will be giving you an inside look at the wonderful process that is childbirth."

The doctor pushed open the ward doors and headed down a hallway. On either side were large glass windows through which a number of infants, both youkai and human, could be seen.

"We are very lucky today as we have been given permission to witness the birth of a hanyou," Suikotsu said as he opened another door.

In the room was a very pregnant human woman sitting on a bed. Her face was covered in sweat and her breathing was heavy. Holding her hand was a tall, olive haired youkai. Three purple stripes were on his face and by their ragged appearance he seemed to be more stressed than his mate.

"Tsukiyomi, how are you doing?" Suikotsu asked cheerily as he approached the two.

The young woman laughed. "Well, Hoshiyomi may need a sedative soon, but the baby and I are doing fine."

"We'll keep one ready for him just in case," Suikotsu laughed. "Why don't you all say hi to all those joining us today."

Tsukiyomi waved happily to the camera. "Hello, everyone."

Suikotsu talked to a nurse before returning to the couple. "Well, we won't be waiting long now. You are almost completely dilated. How are the…"

Tsukiyomi's cheerful appearance vanished in a second as her entire body tensed up. Her breathing speed into fast pain-filled gasps as her fingers dug into her mate's arm. Hoshiyomi's face showed his discomfort, whether it was from seeing his mate in such a condition or her long nails breaking the skin of his arm couldn't be determined.

Miroku understood the youkai's pain all too well as Sango was clutching onto his wrist for dear life. Each time Tsukiyomi cried out Sango jerked and whimpered at the sight. As the video continued and the labor progressed, Miroku's hand was turning ever more purple from the lack of blood flow.

Most of the other students seemed to find the video just as distressing, though not as physically abusive. Kagome and Kikyou continued to watch, though more out of curiosity of what they would one day have to experience. Ayame looked thoroughly disgusted by the entire scene, while Kouga seemed rather confused at exactly how the baby would make it out of her body. InuYasha was covering his eyes and absolutely refused to watch, and Naraku had decided to begin his evening absorption list, completely forgetting about the video. Shippo and Souten, both agreeing never to have children, were now playing poker at their seats. Bankotsu decided this was a good point to take a nap and Jakotsu was silently thanking God he was born gay and not a woman.

As the labor became delivery, and the images on the video being both graphic and unedited, Miroku's face found new and amazing expressions of pain he never knew he could make. Most of all he wondered how in the hell Sango ever got so strong. He was sure if she didn't let go soon, his wrist was going to break. Then…the head was seen.

Both Sango's eyes and mouth widened in horror as Tsukiyomi pushed the infant from her body and the room was filled not just with the mother-to-be's screams but Sango's and Miroku's. The young slayer was half out of her seat having pushed all her weight up. Unfortunately for the houshi, it was onto his forearm that the girl's weight now pressed.

Everyone was relieved when the film finally ended. Sango, looking extremely traumatized, sunk back into her chair still grasping the poor boy's arm. Miroku used his free hand to nudge her. Slowly, her brown eyes turned to glare at him.

"If you ever ask me to bear you a child again I will kill you."

"Actually, I was going to ask you to let go of my wrist, please," Miroku whimpered.

Sango looked down at her hands for the first time realizing she was holding onto him. A scarlet blush crossed her cheeks and she immediately released her grip.

"I'm…I'm sorry."

Rin moved back to the center of the room and drew everyone's attention. As Bankotsu was still sleeping Sesshoumaru kicked his chair throwing the mercenary into his desk.

"I take it you all didn't like that video?" Rin asked everyone.

"Why the hell did we have to watch that?!" Sango screamed. "I am never having children now!"

Rin burst into laughter. "One day you will. That video won't stop nature from taking its course. However it may have done its job of delaying it."

"What?" a number of students asked at once.

"Anyway," Rin said, cheerfully clapping her hands together. "Do we still have any questions to ask in the open or shall we go to the written ones?"

"Rin-sensei," Bankotsu called smirking. "I have another question."

"Hopefully it is more thought out than your last one."

"Yeah, this is a real question."

"All right, what is it?"

Bankotsu leaned forward in his desk so that he appeared as if he were actually paying attention in class. "Let's say a human want to live a real long time. Ah, screw that. I want to live a shit ass long time. Now if I got marked by a female youkai would that happen?"

"Wow," Rin said shocked. "A surprisingly good question."

"Everyone has their moments," InuYasha whispered.

"Shut up, you dog bastard," Bankotsu responded.

"As to your question," Rin intervened. "Yes, if you were marked by a female youkai you would gain her longevity. It is a perk of mating a youkai or hanyou."

"_Excellent_," he said smiling.

InuYasha scoffed. "Like it matters. You're dead, remember? The dead can't do that."

"Of course we can!" Kikyou screamed rushing up to take the young hanyou's arm. "Don't you remember? The night in the forest…"

Kagome bolted out of her chair and leaned in so InuYasha's and her noses were barely centimeters apart. "What night in the forest?!"

"There was no night in the forest! I swear! Kikyou and I never did anything together."

Kagome didn't have a chance to respond as she was pulled away from her hanyou and into Kouga's tight embrace. "You see Kagome, he just cheats on you. Come back with me and I will show you how a real youkai treats his mate."

Searching for a way to free herself of Kouga, Kagome scanned the room. She found her salvation nearby, she only hoped Kouga would take the bait. "While you are showing me how a youkai treats a woman it seems Bankotsu is showing Ayame how a human treats a woman."

Kouga blinked for a moment, then, slowly, his head turned to Ayame's desk. She was still in her chair, but sitting on her desktop was Bankotsu; the indecent stick figure drawing she had previously made was now forgotten on the floor. Bankotsu slid closer to her and played with the edges of her curly hair, a sensual smile grazing his handsome face.

Kouga released Kagome and stormed over to the couple. "What the hell do you think you are doing!"

Bankotsu just waved him away arrogantly, not even bothering to look at him. "_I_ am talking to a beautiful, intelligent, sensuous, young woman whom you seem to have no care for, so just go back to your human girl."

"You human shit, get away from her!"

Ayame's gaze locked onto the youkai, anger seething in each emerald eye. "Now you think you have some claim over me! You ungrateful, disgusting, despicable, two timing, no good wolf!"

"He toys with your heart," Bankotsu added.

"You don't care about my feelings!"

"He thinks he can control you."

"You think I will just lay down whenever you bark!"

"A…Ayame," Kouga stuttered backing away slightly.

Meanwhile, Kikyou and Kagome had begun a tug of war using InuYasha's arms as the rope. Suddenly, Jakotsu, having been left behind by Bankotsu, decided to join the fray and slid his arms around InuYasha's neck hugging him happily as neither girl would let go and let the other win.

At the side wall Shippo and Souten had taken this opportunity to get closer to one another, specifically their mouths and tongues, which were becoming very well aquatinted.

Nearby Naraku could be heard making a few changes to his evening absorption list as he witnessed the chaos around him. Beneath the heading of 'main course' Kikyou and Kagome's names were erased in favor of a far more spirited and exotic looking Ayame. 'Appetizer' was changed from InuYasha to Kouga as Naraku always liked the taste of fear and Kouga was simmering in that at the moment. Only 'dessert' had yet to be filled in.

On the opposite side Miroku was attempting to guilt Sango into letting him closer. He held out his right arm, the one she had been clenching onto, and put on a pathetic, childish pout. She finally relented and gently took his arm so as to examine the now apparent bruises. Her body immediately tensed in a solemn reminder why the houshi was not supposed to be so near. His uninjured hand had found its way to her firm posterior and was reveling in the feeling. Furious, Sango grabbed the bottle of Youkai Repellant and sprayed Miroku in the face. After wiping it off he gave her a lecherous smile.

"Now, Sango, that is not where you're supposed to spray that," he said sliding his hands up the inside of her thighs.

A burgundy rage filled Sango's face from bottom to top as one hand grabbed both of Miroku's wrists and squeezed tighter than ever, while the other slapped him repeatedly.

All the while Sesshoumaru sat, legs propped up on his desk, eyes closed, completely indifferent to the whole event. It wasn't like this was the first time they did something like this. Rin stared at her mate from the front of the room and finally began to realize why he had insisted on supervising this. What other teacher could handle _these_ students?

"I know," Naraku cried happily, though no one paid him any attention. "I'll take Rin-sensei for dessert!"

Sesshoumaru's golden eyes shot open as Naraku's laughter reached his sensitive ears. Seeing that her mate would soon take action against the class Rin decided to try and protect as many as she could.

"Who would like to know something incredibly embarrassing about InuYasha?"

All movement and noise in the room ceased. One by one the intrigued students looked to Rin, who was smiling malevolently.

"If all of you are quiet and behaved the rest of the time I will tell you something InuYasha would never want anyone to know."

All students immediately returned to their normal seats and stared at her attentively, that is everyone but InuYasha. His pleading amber eyes stared at his sister-in-law.

"Please, Nee-chan, you can't do this to me!" When Rin remained silent InuYasha turned to his last hope. "Sessy, _onii-san_, don't let her do this!"

"Take your seat, _ototo_."

InuYasha looked to Kagome, but her curiosity combined with her anger at his two-timing nature left her silent to his cries for help. He turned to Kikyou, but since he had looked to Kagome first she decided to let him suffer. Without another option InuYasha was about to resign himself to his fate, but stopped when he thought of a perfect way to get someone to make noise…at least _he thought_ it was a perfect way.

He stopped just in front of his desk and pointed straight in the air. "I will mark the first person who makes a noise!"

The entire room waited with baited breath to see who moved first.

__

One Song

Glory

InuYasha couldn't look.

__

One Song

Before I go

Glory

It wasn't true.

__

One song to leave behind

Find one song

Ayame uncovered Kikyou's mouth, which she had originally done to ensure Kagome spoke up first.

__

One last refrain

Glory

Kagome was released from the suffocating hold Kouga had placed on her hoping Kikyou would cry out first.

__

From the pretty boy front man

Who wasted opportunity

One song

InuYasha's head creaked behind him in terror at what we was hearing.

__

He had the world at his feet

Glory!

The hanyou's gaze fell upon Jakotsu, who in a split second had rushed to the front of the room to come to the aid of the desperate hanyou, and was at the moment singing a very good rendition of 'One Song Glory' from the play _Rent_. InuYasha didn't care about that. What InuYasha cared about was the fact that Jakotsu was the first one to make noise, and that he had failed to specify gender in his earlier offer.

Jakotsu stopped singing and hurried over to take InuYasha's shaking arm. "How was that Inu-chan? Oh I always knew you loved me! We will be so happy from now on. You'll see, it only hurts the first time."

InuYasha couldn't move. He couldn't speak. Hell, he couldn't even think! All he saw was one hyper, dead, psychotic mercenary jumping up and down hugging him.

Now, while he found it highly amusing to see his little brother in such a terrified state there was no way Sesshoumaru was going to allow _that_ into his house. He stood up and gently rested his hands on his desk, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

"InuYasha…cannot sleep without having a stuffed rabbit he named Ryu-chan. If Ryu-chan ever is lost he goes into a panic and will tear the entire house apart looking for him. When Rin forced him to put the rabbit into the wash InuYasha waited in front of the washer and dryer till it was done."

Silence. Coughing. Giggling. Laughting. Hysteria. The entire room was rolling with uncontrollable fits. Only Rin and Sesshoumaru were calm. Jakotsu cried all the to the back of the room where Bankotsu was nearly falling out of his chair from laughing. InuYasha had collapsed to the floor whispering, "My life is over."

As the class slowly recovered Rin just shook her head. "Are there any more questions?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

InuYasha runs up to Neechan #2. "What the fuck does that have to do with Demon Sex Ed?!"

"Nothing, but I found it damn amusing."

"You made me into a pansy!"

"Shut up, I couldn't resist. It was too great."

Inu grumbles off and takes a stuffed rabbit out of his haori to comfort him.

Ok, who the hell knows where half of that came from, but because it did come out there will be a third installment of this story. For those who managed to pay attention between my demented tangents, we have yet gotten to the written questions.

And if anyone can tell me why in the world Jakotsu sang 'One Song Glory' I would love to know, cause I don't even understand that and I wrote it.

"It's a great song!" Jakotsu called from the back. "And I was Roger in last year's production!"

InuYasha's head pops back into the scene. "I thought you would have been Angel."

"I can _act_ straight."

Neechan #2 just shakes her head. "What the hell am I on?"


	3. Getting Even

Bankotsu walks over to Neechan #2 sitting in front of her computer. "Yo, Sessy-neechan, do I really cuss that much?"

"Not really, but Neechan #1 and I agree that you probably would have at that age. We see you as being the child who, once he heard a cuss word, repeated it over and over till everyone was pissed at you. So it would make sense that you would cuss as a teenager."

Bankotsu scratches his head. "You know, somehow I don't think I actually cussed that much when I was that age."

Neechan #2 smiles wickedly. "It's ok. We get a nice thing called author's license. Let's us do a lot to all of you pretty people."

"But if you don't own us how can you do that?"

Neechan #2 stands and directs Bankotsu to another doorway across the hall. "Now you don't need to worry about anything like that. Just go in there and distract yourself."

She pushes Bankotsu into the room and returns to the computer with one last look at the door, on which she could now read the sign saying, "Neechan #1's room."

Neechan #1 pokes her head out of the door and glanced in Neechan #2's direction, a silent understanding of the brilliance of this disclaimer shining in her eyes. A soft thank you graces her lips. The door slams shut with a soft chuckle and Neechan #2 continues with her writing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

InuYasha somehow dragged himself back into his chair, his head laying lifelessly over the desktop. A soft murmur could be heard by the keenest of ears, "Why me…why Ryu-chan… they make me so crazy I need support…I didn't ask to live with them…or have him as my teacher...neechan is supposed to be nice though…why…why?"

Kagome wanted to lean over and comfort the distressed hanyou, but since she hadn't helped before she doubted he would be happy to receive her help now. The rest of the class seemed to quiet down after the embarrassing revelation and was now waiting for Rin to speak.

"Now, so as to speed things up, lets go straight to the written questions. Everyone, even if you don't have a question, take out a piece of paper. If you have a question you would rather not people know you are asking, write it down. If you don't have a question fold your paper in half and I will collect them all when you are done."

A number of students began writing while a few other just folded their papers. A devious snickering could be heard from the back of the room as Jakotsu and Bankotsu both wrote down questions. Once everyone had a folded paper on their desk Rin went around and put them into the pink bag previously holding the girls' version of the youkai repellant. She shook the bag slightly before pulling out one of the questions.

"Is it because of his over active…" Rin silenced herself as her eyes passed over the rest of the question. _…sexual desires that Sesshoumaru-sensei is not in class several days a month?_

She laughed to herself as she realized that those would actually be the days _she_ was in heat, though she didn't tell that to the class. She brought her hand to her mouth and coughed. "Perhaps I should have mentioned that Sesshoumaru and my sex life is strictly off limits."

Two mercenaries suddenly found themselves over the front of their desks, coughing violently from an unknown attack from behind. Bankotsu and Jakotsu both looked to Sesshoumaru who was still lounging in his leather chair, eyes closed.

"That's not my question," they both yelled.

Sesshoumaru opened one skeptical golden eye, but was shocked to hear Rin agree. "They aren't lying. This is definitely not one of their handwriting."

Sesshoumaru's curious gaze watched the paper as Rin set it down on the table near her. As the folded side rose slight he caught a glimpse of a very unique and girly handwriting…Kikyou. She would pay for that one on her next paper.

Rin pulled the next question from the bag and began reading. "Is it true that for a dog hanyou who has canine ears that those ears are the most sexually stimulating part of his body?"

InuYasha…who was still collapsed over his desk…tensed at the question. His gold eyes darted from Kagome to Kikyou, both girls holding up their hands and shaking their heads. Slowly, his head creaked inch by inch to look at Jakotsu who was smiling giddily. InuYasha slid into as close to a ball as he could in his desk and shivered uncontrollably.

Rin didn't even look at InuYasha, deciding she had tortured her little brother-in-law quite enough and would not drag him into this answer. "That is of course depending on the person in question. Everyone has a place on their body that can be sexually stimulating. The ears for one hanyou may not cause any reaction when it may in another."

Rin quickly grabbed the next question to lessen the focus from InuYasha. "Can a youkai be in heat every moment of every day?"

Everyone waited confused as Rin stared at the paper in deep thought.

"Perhaps I haven't been completely clear on this subject," she said as she put down the paper. "When you use the word heat there are two different meanings in common conversation. When used to a female it means the time of her reproductive cycle in which she is most fertile. It increases sexual desire so that the species can continue; however, the word heat is not accurate for males. But because of the excessive use now a days it has also been attributed the state of mind of a male when he is…to put it bluntly, 'fucking horny.'"

The class burst out laughing at the crudeness of Rin's explanation.

"So, while a female is only in heat at a certain and set time, a male could, theoretically, be in a constant state of heat should his sexual desire not be satiated. That is, of course, only a concern for un-marked youkai. A marked male youkai's desire would be transferred to his mate by the mark he has on her, as hers would be to him."

Sesshoumaru shifted slightly in his seat so that his chin was resting on his chest. With his feet propped up it was a fairly comfortable position, but if this didn't finish up soon he might just get annoyed. He didn't want to be here in the first place. As if sensing her mate's impatience (which is of course what she did) Rin drove her hand once more into the bag and produced another question. Well, no, she produced a piece of paper…blank.

"On to the next," she said cheerfully getting another one out. "Can a youkai have a human and youkai mate if he himself doesn't get marked?"

As there was little doubt who wrote that question a number of glares locked onto Kouga who was slumping forward into his seat slowly stuttering, "But…it…it isn't my question."

No one believed him, no one but Bankotsu and Jakotsu that is. As Kouga was getting hell's fury from two women and a hanyou, the mercenaries had satisfied smirks on their faces. It really was simple to manipulate this class.

Rin did her best to ignore the death waves surrounding the young wolf youkai and answer the question. "Any youkai, male or female, can take more than one mate as long as they are not marked. They can also take two marked mates should the third party mark both of the original couple."

The anger turned to confusion as the class heard this.

"You can have more than one marked mate?" InuYasha asked intrigued.

With the loss of InuYasha in the 'kill the two-timing youkai frenzy' Kikyou joined the two girls and together the trio filled the room with unimaginable malicious energy. Considering two of the girls were mikos, Sesshoumaru was shocked they could produce such an undoubtedly evil aura.

"Well, yes," Rin said as InuYasha returned to his hiding position in his chair. "But only on the condition two of the partners are youkai or hanyou. You see, for a human to actually mark a youkai or hanyou they for a short while are tapped into the powers of the one they are mating. Since the mark from a human to another must be done during intercourse for them to draw enough power a human cannot mark a second human. So for three people to be marked mates two of the three must be hanyou or youkai."

"Yeah, see there, dog boy, you can only have one of those ugly bitches," Bankotsu said laughing.

"What did you say?!" the two mikos said in unison, their four brown eyes glowing a menacing shade or red.

"Ugly…bitches. You two are side show attractions compared to the elegant and divine Ayame."

Ayame's face was threatening to match her auburn hair. A small smirk played over her face while a scowl formed on Kouga's.

On cue from Bankotsu, Jakotsu brought this fact to Ayame's attention. "Wolfie, honey, why are you so mad about this. It means you can still have both Kagome and Ayame if you can just convince them."

Kagome wasn't listening to Jakotsu as she and Kikyou were both trying to decide if they wanted to kill InuYasha or Bankotsu first. As expected though, Ayame's keen ears heard every word and her piercing green eyes saw a spark of hope flicker across Kouga's face.

Ayame's lips parted to show off her lovely fangs. "Do you really think I would allow myself to be mated to another woman just so you could feed your ego? Or is it that you don't have enough to satisfy a woman so you are trying to hide it by having two?"

Everyone shut up and watched as Ayame went off on Kouga. Even InuYasha, who had been afraid to raise his head above his desk, was watching the wolves. Sesshoumaru suppressed a smirk; at least his class could be abusively amusing at times.

Rin hurried to the next question as Ayame began beating Kouga in the head. She let out a sigh of relief. While there was no question who wrote it, it most likely wouldn't throw the class into an uproar.

"_Can_…" Rin began gaining everyone's attention, "a youkai disguise himself as a religious man?"

A number of the girls giggled, knowing who that was referring to. The boys just snickered to themselves as Miroku looked to Sango rather disappointed.

"I'm not a youkai," he said in a half annoyed, half pleading tone.

Sango just raise a doubtful eyebrow and waited for Rin to answer the question.

"While a youkai can pretend to be a religious figure they cannot imitate the holy powers of one…"

"See! You have seen me use sutras before!" Miroku interrupted.

"…but," Rin continued, "they are able to make their youki resemble holy powers, especially if it is only something like a written sutra."

Miroku's head slammed against his desk. Sometimes he thought the world was against him. InuYasha was just happy the focus was finally off him. After the scene with Ayame and Kouga, and now Miroku, everyone had forgotten about him for the time being.

Rin picked up the next question and immediately dreaded it. This one would cause a disturbance for sure. She took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Is it true that if you have sex with a youkai or hanyou a human woman will immediately become pregnant?"

In the back Jakotsu turned to Bankotsu with an all-knowing look on his face. "Now see, that is why hanyou and youkai merely need to direct their sexual desire onto another man. Namely, me. Right, Inu-chan, Nara-kun?"

Naraku looked like he was ready to vomit and immediately crumpled his entire evening menu. How could anyone eat after they heard that?

InuYasha merely repeated a soft, but determined mantra to himself. "I will never get drunk. I will never drink sake. I will never drink anything with alcohol while he is alive. I will never drink anything he gives me. I will never get drunk. I will never drink sake…"

Rin did her best to ignore the boys as it was a reminder of a rather disturbing vision she had hoped to forget.

"Though many believe that youkai sperm is eighty times more poignant than a human males, it is but a myth." Rin sighed and looked at the ground slightly disappointed.

"What's the problem Sessy-sama?" Bankotsu laughed. "Having trouble keeping the old bitch happy?"

Now, as to what actually happened in that split second as Bankotsu began to close his mouth from his question is quite uncertain. What the class did know was the metal of Bankotsu's chair had melted slightly, firmly locking him in his chair. But that was not what the class burst into laughter for. No, they were in hysterics because Bankotsu's mouth never finished closing. Currently propping it open was…Jakotsu's. Jakotsu himself was firmly stuck to the top of Bankotsu's desk, which had also melted slightly to keep him in place.

Suddenly, Jakotsu yanked his head back and pulled a now bleeding lower lip into his mouth. "Did you have to bite me?"

"You stayed there too long! I told you before, I don't like guys!"

"But it wasn't my fault. I was just making the best of a bad situation," Jakotsu said innocently.

Bankotsu leaned back as best as he could and looked at Jakotsu stuck on his desk. "While it is good to know that even men can succumb to my masterful technique, I want you off my desk now."

"I wouldn't say I succumb."

"Maybe you should check your pants again. Now OFF!"

"InuYasha. Kouga. Separate these too before we have to witness another disturbing display of their…devotion to each other," Sesshoumaru said without opening his eyes. One must wonder how he knew what happened with his eyes closed.

Kouga reluctantly got up, but InuYasha refused to go anywhere near Jakotsu. Sesshoumaru ordered Naraku next but received the same reaction.

"Oh hell, you are fucking wussies," a crimson Ayame said.

She followed Kouga, but quickly pushed him over to Jakotsu and began to help pry Bankotsu from his chair. Bankotsu flashed her a handsome smile.

"Arigato, Ayame-chan." He placed one hand against her flushed cheek. "It is good to know there is one capable women in this room."

At his touch Ayame's hands slipped a little too high, as they had been working to remove his thigh from the seat. Her faced increased two more shades and she quickly moved her hands back to his knee. Bankotsu just smiled and ran his fingers through her auburn tresses.

Jakotsu was not happy with the obvious seductive display between the two. Not because he was seriously interested in either of them, but because it made Kouga quickly rip him, as well as some of the desktop, away from the couple and throw him angrily to the ground.

"Ayame! It doesn't take that long to get him up!"

Her eyes burned a deep shade of jade. "Shut the fuck up! You act like a spoiled little cub! Go and sit down. Sit boy!"

Kouga was infuriated by now. Not only was the girl who was supposed to be mooning over him treating him like a common dog, but that damn human was getting more than he ever did from her. Kouga grabbed Bankotsu by the shoulders and yanked him up off his seat only to drop him back in it.

Bankotsu rubbed his thighs as Kouga stormed back to his seat. Ayame leaned closer with a worried look on her face. "Are you okay, Bankotsu?"

Bankotsu put on a very fake, but highly sincere looking, pained expression. He then _struggled _to smile at Ayame. "I will be fine, my lovely Ayame, but if you could do me one favor…"

"Favor?" Ayame asked.

"Yes, a favor."

Bankotsu didn't wait for her answer, though. His hand reached out and gently pulled Ayame forward as his mouth quickly found hers. He slowly ran his tongue over her lips causing her to part them in shock. As Bankotsu continued to enjoy his _favor_, Kouga was finding out that the desks were not made to withstand an assault from an angry youkai. Finally, Bankotsu released a now breathless Ayame.

"Forgive me. To think I would have to keep Jakotsu's foul taste in my mouth when I could have your sensual one, I couldn't help myself."

"Don't worry about it." Ayame stumbled as she attempted to stand and get back to her desk. She ran into three desks and one youkai on her way back.

Rin filtered through the rest of the papers in the bag while Ayame sat in a fit of quiet giggles. Finding the rest of the papers blank and hoping to finish this up before something drastic happened she clapped her hands and received the classes attention.

"Ok, one more time. If there is something you want to know, or maybe one of the questions from this round made you think of something write it down. This is the last time, so make sure you ask your question."

In normal psychotic manner the two boys in the back, now with ripped clothing and slightly annoyed dispositions, were writing down two questions. Kouga struggled to think of a question that would get back at Bankotsu while InuYasha was thanking every god he knew that neither Kikyou nor Kagome had written anything. To Miroku's dismay, Sango had written a question. To _everyone's_ disturbance, Naraku was also writing a question down. Shippo and Souten had actually fallen asleep resting against one another. They seemed to only pay attention when something amusing happened.

Once all the papers were folded over Rin collected them and returned to her place in the front of the room. She shook the bag and removed the first question…and dreaded it.

"Is it true that as long as a female is marked…" Jakotsu mischievously winked at Bankotsu as the question was read. "…and the male is stronger she cannot have any encounter with another male if her mate does not wish it?"

If Ayame's ire were a river, it had already been flooding over Kouga…now it was a full-blown typhoon.

"You…you…you…"

Completely failing at calling Kouga the myriad foul names currently raging in her mind, Ayame quickly grabbed him by the collar and yanked him out of the chair. A low growl was filtering from the wolf's throat as she used all her strength to throw him across the room causing his head to break the drywall and insulation till it was clear through the other side. It took most of Sesshoumaru's willpower not to laugh as the girl played out his earlier plans for the small toad.

"You think you can own me, then fine, you want me as your mate so you can play. Then lets see how you like mating another guy!"

In one smooth jump Ayame was across the room and straddling Bankotsu's desk, her fangs mere centimeters from the boy's neck. Bankotsu cursed in his mind as Sesshoumaru was keeping Ayame's head from moving that last little distance to give him her longevity.

"You want to mark an idiot, go ahead, but not when I am responsible. I don't feel like hearing from your parents whining I let you waste your life," Sesshoumaru said menacingly.

Rin, hoping to prevent the marking all together, gave the young girl a second reason to stop. "Ayame, if you mark him now, until the day he dies all of your sexual desires will be fixated on him and him alone. When you go into heat nothing will stop you from fulfilling those desires either."

Bankotsu, hoping to keep a chance at a marking outside of school, and maybe mating afterwards, slid his hand up her arm. His thumb _accidentally_ reached to graze the side of her breast.

Ayame looked at Bankotsu unsure if she should be insulted he had touched her or excited he had. A part of her didn't want Bankotsu as a permanent mate, she was just pissed at Kouga…but then Bankotsu was kind to her, and acknowledged her, and…his hand crossed over her collar bone and a little lower than perhaps it should have.

"Ayame," Bankotsu said seductively.

Rin leaned in close to Ayame's ear. "For…ev…er."

Ayame sighed in defeat. She didn't really want Bankotsu as a permanent mate. His other hand caressed hers. She really…was…only mad at Kouga.

"Alright," she said, letting Sesshoumaru pull her towards her desk.

"Ayame," Bankotsu said with feigned emotion, and _real_ disappointment.

She looked back at him for a moment. He looked at her longingly.

"Maybe later," she said quickly before taking her seat.

Once she wasn't looking, and Sesshoumaru was returned to his chair, Bankotsu smiled triumphantly at Jakotsu.

Rin _really_ hoped the next question wouldn't instigate another outburst. After a blank paper she nearly laughed at the question as she read it. The girl really did love torturing the poor boy.

"Is there any way to identify a youkai disguised as a human?"

Miroku stood up and towered over Sango. "I. Am. Not. A. Youkai!"

In a very rare moment the class witnessed the young taijiya _teasing_ Miroku.

She frowned disappointed. "Too bad. If you were I would have to hunt you down and…_defeat_ you."

The houshi's jaw dropped open as he collapsed into his chair. "Why can't I be a youkai…or a hanyou, that would do. Just need youkai blood, then…then…"

"It's all right, Miroku. Not everyone is blessed with youkai blood," Rin laughed. She then looked down and absentmindedly rubbed her abdomen. "But maybe some of us will be soon."

Snickering and whispers could be heard throughout the room as InuYasha turned to Bankotsu. "Looks like Sesshy-niisan is keeping her happy enough."

Rin coughed a few times…whether it was from the continued reference to her and Sesshoumaru's sexual affairs or to get the class's attention was for each student to decide. Hoping to speed things up she grabbed the next question and read without scanning it for content. One would have thought she learned her lesson the first time.

"If a youkai male in this room were to be in heat, and he approached the lovely Sex Ed teacher, would she give a demonstration…" Rin immediately knew she should have stopped _before_ that last word.

Sesshoumaru lifted Naraku and Kouga from their seats, his crimson glare burying into the two boys. Somehow, a miracle of youkai nature perhaps, he managed to speak through the deep growl resonating in his throat.

"Which one of you wrote that?"

"It wasn't me!" both of them screamed in terror.

In the back Bankotsu and Jakotsu used every ounce of self-control they had not to laugh or smile, as neither wanted Sesshoumaru to figure out the truth and direct his rage at them.

Another miracle, Sesshoumaru's growl deepened. "Which one of you wrote it?"

"I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME!" they both cried again.

Kouga's legs had curled up to his abdomen and he very much looked like a frightened cub. Naraku's body had frozen as he had already once made mention of Rin and was now terrified Sesshoumaru would recall that.

"Sesshoumaru," one very flat voice said.

The adult youkai's glare immediately returned to gold, though none of the malice left. He slowly looked to his mate who was featuring a deadly glare of her own.

"Put them down, Sesshoumaru. There is no need for that."

His grip on the two only tightened. She was defying him right in front of his class! Not just defying…ordering him!

Rin abandoned her glare and closed her brown eyes as she turned away from him. "That's okay. You don't have to."

Now, to the boys in the room that was female language for, 'Oh, you shouldn't have done that.' To the girls in the room that was mother's language for, 'You should have done it the _first time_ I said to.' To InuYasha that was Rin's language for, 'That was not the correct answer.' But to Sesshoumaru, that was his mate's language for, 'I am going to make you pay for that and _nothing_ can make up for it now.'

After a very short internal battle Sesshoumaru's instincts for self-preservation won out and he released the two boys. Still angry, though now highly concerned, he returned to his place at the back of the room.

Rin smiled at everyone. "Youkai are also highly protective of their mates and can be…territorial at times."

"You don't say," Naraku muttered sarcastically.

"Now, since it is getting late and since I think we have had enough disturbances for one day I will tell you two more things then you all may leave."

Sesshoumaru watched his mate carefully…he had expected…something in front of his class.

Rin pushed the papers and bags to the edge of the small desk near her and sat on the edge. As she moved about in front of him Kouga's nose began twitching. Something smelled very disgusting and it was getting stronger. What was worse was it seemed to be coming from Rin, but he wasn't going to say anything about it. Next to him both InuYasha and Naraku seemed to be in the same predicament, though InuYasha seemed to be scared for a different reason. Behind them he heard Shippo cough, but even he remained silent.

"Now first, for the humans who may have a desire to mate a youkai or hanyou, becoming a mate to one means entering a constant battle for dominance. Normally a balance is found quickly and both are fine, but sometimes one of you may become stubborn and then you must regain that balance. This is even more so when it comes to the act of mating."

Rin shifted and crossed her legs, causing the odor, which Kouga was now very sure was coming from her, to increase. From the back, a clawing could be heard. The students could only imagine it was from Sesshoumaru's anger and/or humiliation that Rin was saying this. None, not even Bankotsu or Jakotsu, risked looking.

"When the desire, you could say, is initiated by one partner the other becomes submissive to the will of the other. In other words, if the female's arousal causes the male to become aroused he cannot approach her without her verbal or non-verbal permission. This can cause the male to become extremely frustrated but unable to do anything until the female allows it. The same is true for the male should he initiate the desire within the female."

Kouga was now holding his breath to avoid breathing in the foul scent. Naraku was holding a white fur handkerchief to his mouth while InuYasha seemed to be mediating or something. The coughing from Shippo had increased right along with the sounds of ripping wood.

"The last thing I will tell you before you all leave is that a mated female's scent of arousal, while unimaginably intoxicating to her mate, is highly putrid to any other male." Rin smiled as realization spread over the male youkai. "You're all dismissed now."

The girls, not understanding the scared and shocked expressions on the boys' faces, unknowingly turned to gather up their things only to see Sesshoumaru and…what was left of his desk. The _small_ pile of wood and shards, which used to be a rather large desk, was lying on the floor in front of Sesshoumaru, whose claws were now tearing apart the leather arms of his chair. A look of frustration mixed with…lust?…filled his normally stoic eyes.

The boys were scared to go anywhere near him, though four of them had their weapons in the back closet. Even Bankotsu was thinking Banryuu could last one night at school. Rin quickly ruined their thoughts of fleeing.

"Go on, get your weapons, you can all leave now," she said happily.

InuYasha was the first to move. Leaving his meditations he jumped over everyone in the room, opened the closet, and grabbed Tessaiga. After putting his sword safely in his belt, he grabbed Miroku's staff and threw it to the houshi. He did the same with Jakotsu sword, though a little more carefully considering the nature of the mercenary's sword. Lastly, he gently picked up Banryuu and walked it over to Bankotsu.

He handed the large sword to Bankotsu and leaned in close. "Just take it and leave."

Bankotsu nodded and all the students slowly, but hastily, left the classroom. As most were sighing in relief on a safe escape from their unusually demented teacher InuYasha began waving them all over and motioned for them to line up against the wall. A mischievous smirk was on his face that immediately told Bankotsu something great was about to happen.

InuYasha, closest to the door, called into the room, though he made sure no part of his body was visible. "Nee-chan!"

"Yes, InuYasha," Rin called back.

"I'm gonna stay at Miroku's tonight."

There was a lighthearted laugh from inside the room. "I think that would be a very good idea."

Suddenly, a screaming toad was seen flying down the hall. Jaken, it appeared, was still in the room. At that same time the door was slammed shut and the sounds of furniture being tossed aside were plainly heard.

InuYasha just shook his head. "And that is what you call verbal permission."

Miroku's eyes widened as he stared through the hole Kouga's head had made in the wall. "I didn't know the body could get into that position?"

InuYasha rushed to shove his haori and undershirt into the hole before anyone else could take a peek. Sango was already providing the houshi's punishment. From the noise inside the students found that Rin hadn't been lying. Once mating neither of them seemed to be caring about saying anything.

Having taken his revenge on them for mentioning Ryu-chan in class InuYasha hurried to scare away the last of the students who were either too shocked or too intrigued to leave right away. Once everyone but Miroku was gone the two boys headed out, InuYasha leaving his clothing there to give his brother a little privacy, though by the sounds coming from the room there was little left to the imagination.

As they exited the school Miroku smirked. "InuYasha, you want to stop by your place first? I would hate for you to miss _Ryu-chan_ just because your brother can't keep his hands off his mate."

Miroku quickly found himself doubled over after a very serious punch from his friend. "Never mention Ryu-chan again. If you do, you might find you no longer have the ability to satisfy yourself, let alone a woman."

"Right, bunny talk is off limits." He stood up and they started off again. After a moment Miroku spoke up again. "Can I see it at least?"

"Damn Houshi!" InuYasha screamed as he chased his friend down the street.

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Well, there you go. One very demented story has come to completion. Hoped you all liked it. It was amusing to write, if nothing else. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the past chapters, and don't think just because this is the end we don't want to hear from you. Remember to review.

For anyone interested in our other story, 'Seductive Snake's Shop of Secrets," you will be happy to know that after a slight hiatus the next chp has begun and I assure you, if you liked the previous chapters, you won't be disappointed. I mean, we just love torturing all of our pretty anime characters, and it shows. So look forward to that coming soon, and if you haven't read our other story, we of course recommend it.

Till the next insanity strikes us, Ja!


	4. Authors' Note

This here is just a little note for those who read the story, both to thank you all, but also to make note of two of the jokes you may not have fully gotten, and thus explain why we used them.

First, from the video in chapter one, we stated that Hiten and Kouryuu "lived happily and have many little thundercats." If you failed to get the extreme hilarity of this joke, you are either for some reason not able to see American television (if this is true, we exclude you from the 'bad people for not catching it' group), or are too young to be reading a rated R story (you naughty youngsters). 'Thundercats' is an old American cartoon, and definitely does not belong anywhere near InuYasha, but by sheer chance it turned out that way and was too amusing not to use. (Neechan #1 breaks in proclaiming, "Hell Yeah It was too funny not to use!" and scampers off again.)

The second is the Ryu-chan bunny. We shall now expand your anime knowledge for those who didn't get this reference. There was a very specific reason we gave InuYasha a bunny named Ryu-chan. (Neechan #1 stumbles in again. "It was so we could have a PIKA InuYasha!) The voice of the Japanese InuYasha also voices Sakuma Ryuichi in the show 'Gravitation.' Ryuichi always carries with him a stuffed creature that most closely resembles a bunny. Also, several times during the show Ryuichi is referred to as Ryu-chan. If you ever watched 'Gravitation,' that should be amusing. If you haven't, we recommend it, a very funny show. (PIKA PIKA!!!)

Last thing is, for everyone who liked this watch out for our next story. Nothing like this, but inspired by our ever favorite Bankotsu and Jakotsu.

__

Dead Psychotic Mercenaries: The Opera

A disaster-piece brought to you by Flaming Duck!

Yes, only our screwed up minds could come up with this. It follows the path of the Shichinintai, but in opera form. So if you ever wanted to hear you fav inu characters singing this is where you will find it. It will be providing great songs such as:

Wash your Neck : A retrospective look at cleanliness – sung in 50's dowop form with the other 8 Shichinintai as backup. Complete with beehive hairdoos

Dreaming of a Hanyou – love song from Jakotsu to InuYasha

All I Want is a Bride – from Mukotsu to women everywhere

My Other Half – sung by Suikotsu

She is Dead: An Ode to Kagome - sung by Sesshoumaru

Requiem for Suikotsu – sung by cast

Back Stabbing Bastard – tribute to Renkotsu from Bankotsu

You Can't Beat Me! - A duet by InuYasha and Bankotsu

While those are no where near all the songs, it will be a very interesting project. This will be in the works once Neechan #1 finishes the next chapter of 'Seductive Snake's Shop of Secrets.' Watch out for it! Ja Ne

Neechan #1 sits at her computer confused as to how the hell she just wrote those 6 pages of Friday of 'Seductive Snake's Shop of Secrets,' and doesn't know how to write the rest.

"It could be a few more days dudes, sorry. I'm in a weird slump at the moment. And it'll definitely be a while for the Opera. There are many distractions and Neechan #2 didn't help with that last disclaimer….." She proceeds to stare longingly at her bedroom door hearing the dull scratches coming from the other side of the oak. Sigh.

Neechan #2 looks at what Neechan #1 wrote, then at reader. "Reviews help clear distractions from us! We love them, and need more for our Snake story. Help Neechan #1! Read and review!"


End file.
